When he was nominated, I did the same thing many did. When he was nominated, I wanted to know. I demanded to know. Who’s fault was it? Hillary. The DNC. This voter group. That voter group. This state. That ignorant neighbor.

From November 9 – January 20 my questions were left unsatisfied. And now, as we are in the midst of a major shift in the political world as we know it, I am urging myself and others to ask a different question. Let’s stop asking who is to blame, and start asking how could we let this happen?

Suffering a loss this great lends itself to finger pointing, but it is both unhelpful and woefully misguided. Because focusing on someone else’s shortcomings denies us the opportunity for self improvement. And in a time when our world needs decent and morally-guided people to unite, blame and anger are merely distraction tools.

And while we may feel better in the short-term when we call out others for their shortcomings, we hurt ourselves in the long run by not allowing ourselves to face our own shortcomings and grow from them.

So, I will start with myself: How could I have let this happen? Well for starters, I now realize I have become complacent in my own liberties, and even more complacent in the daily lack of liberties my fellow Americans face. I have always been supportive of other people’s causes, but usually not in a way that went beyond engaging in heated debate. I’ve been talking the talk, now it is time to walk the walk. Now, I am reading and listening to and conversing with people who for their whole lives have felt the pain I am only just feeling now. In the process, I have had to confront some very real truths about my privilege, and it is a process in which I am pushing myself everyday. It never feels easy, often feels painful, but always feels truthful. And today, the truth is more important than ever.

I have also come to realize that I know practically nothing about how I play into the larger role of democracy, which is now at risk of falling apart. I barely knew who my politicians were on a local level, let alone how I can interact with them and make my voice heard. Like many, I have been calling my elected officials and I have signed up for daily reminders like Call Them In, which sends you reminders of issues about which you may want to contact officials. I have also signed up for the She Should Run incubator to learn more about how to get involved in government. I have been tracking down anyone in politics who will talk to me. I am learning on the fly how to get involved in politics in a way that goes beyond picking up the phone. I will report my findings as I discover them.

Being outspoken has become more important than it has ever been. We must speak up for ourselves, and more importantly, for others. The very nature of my communications work has shifted, and inspiring others to speak out and speak confidently holds so much more weight. And the stakes are that much higher. But the first step in becoming outspoken is being very, wholly, and brutally honest with yourself. What needs to change? How will you challenge yourself? Speaking out is easy when you feel you are safe. When the world no longer provides safety, will you still speak out? Only then will you be truly outspoken.